Distorted
by SlytherinMax
Summary: Some things are not always how they seem to others who are not involved in the situation. Severus/Filch, Severus/Harry, Mentioned MPreg Ch. 2: Sev/Harry
1. Distorted

_**Max: **This is so disgusting... Severus/Filch... (Pukes) I was looking at fanfiction and I accidentally read one... And this popped into my head... IT WOULDN'T GO AWAY!! (Dies) Please! (Begs loyal readers) Don't kill me for this!! I SWEAR! This is the only one of this pairing I shall ever write!! I'm gonna have nightmares... Please read and review! And believe me! I WILL ACCEPT FLAMES FOR THIS STORY!! FLAME TO YOUR LITTLE HEARTS CONTENT!!_

_**Warning: **YAOI! Severus Snape/Argus Filch, Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Mentions of MPreg!_

_**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Argus Filch or anyone from that world. I simply own this disturbing plot bunny... Oo I doubt it would be this disturbing if it was Sevvy/Lucius... Ooooo Sevvy/Lucius... (Drools)_

_**ALSO: **Beta'd by my dear boyfriend Alex! (BlueCrow24) I WUV JOO HUN! :)_

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**_Distorted_**

Argus Filch was sitting silently on a ratty old desk in the front of the Potions classroom. The thing was covered in scratches from students pressing down just a bit too hard on their assignments, and burn marks from failed potions. The rest of the room wasn't very different from that small desk; the walls had yet to be cleaned from the classes earlier in the day, stickiness caused by the many explosions due to the incompetence of many of the students._ 'I'll have to clean this' _he lamented with a cringe.

The slight squeaking of a door tore Argus from his musings. Idly thinking, _'I should fix that…'_ he lifted his head in the direction of the disturbance, noting the tall dark form of the feared Potions Professor. He gave a slight nod of acknowledgement as the other man stepped forward, his robes flowing gently behind him. Argus had yet to move when the man suddenly stopped directly in front of him. He knew what was coming, and yet, he refused to protest.

Severus leaned down and pressed his dry lips roughly against his own. The younger mans tongue snaking past his slightly parted lips. Argus leaned forward slightly, a soft moan escaping his lips when Severus began to undo his trousers, pushing them down past his knees, letting them drop to the floor. Calloused old fingers reached up and began to do the same to the younger man, the dark trousers dropping next to his own, leaving Severus in only his top and robe.

Argus spread his legs farther apart, allowing Severus to step closer, their erections rubbing together, causing both to moan happily. This was as far as they would go, neither wanting more from the other then this simple pleasure. Neither needing more then the simple touches. They would both reach their ends soon, no words would be spoken.

Argus quickly put his clothes on, his eyes shifting to look at Severus who had finished dressing. He could say for a fact that they were not physically attracted to one another, they were merely alike in certain aspects of their lives. They both knew what the other craved, and were able to willingly give it. Even if the younger man was married.

Argus glanced at Severus one last time before quickly walking to the door. He reached his hand out to open it, but was nearly whacked in the face as Professor Harry Potter walked in. He glared silently at the young teacher and slipped out the door, letting it shut behind him, the hinges squeaking quietly. He could hear the voices of Severus and Harry as he walked down the hall.

"So Severus, how was your day?" Harry asked happily.

Severus grunted, annoyed, "Uneventful as always brat."

Harry pouted playfully, "Is that anyway to talk to your pregnant husband Sevvy?"

Argus thought, amused,_'If only Mr. Potter-Snape knew what went on in that room everyday before he arrived.'_

"_Some things are not always how they seem to others who are not involved in the situation. What may seem to be a silent calculating look may be laced with hidden desires. Though, for this particular situation, things are merely distorted from the truth."_

**Max:**Please review lovies! I know it was really bad but... I promise I'll make it up to you! .

Lovies,

Mr. Max


	2. Fire Whisky

_**Max:** I seriously appologize for that atrocious story! O.O It seriously DID give me nightmares! I shall ease your minds with a little mini story! YAY!!_

_**Disclaimer:** Remember kiddies! I do not own Harry Potter!_

_**Warning:** I have no idea what I'm writting. But, if you read that previous chapter, I'm pretty sure you won't complain about this one... -.-_

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_'There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little drink now and then.' _Harry mused happily as he downed another shot of fire whisky. He set the glass down silently and motioned for a refill. He brought the filled glass up to his lips, ready to tip it down his throat, when a large calloused hand took the glass from his own. he looked up angrily, his head spinning slightly, "Hey! I wanted to drink that!"

Hagard obsidian eyes glared into his own angry green eyes, "Potter, how many of these have you had? How many times must I tell you not to drink while you are in this condition! Come along, I'm taking you home."

Harry stood reluctantly, nearly falling to the ground, "I can drink what I want Snape. And it's not a condition! I'm pregnant! And its all your fault! You shoved that big delicious cock up my arse all on your own! And besides, I haven't had a drink since the start of this! And that was nearly 8 months ago! Now give me back my fire whisky!"

Severus simply set the glass down on the counter and gathered Harry in his arms before he could reach for it. He strode over to the bars fire place and flooed them back to their flat in Muggle London. Harry looked up at him, wonderously.

"How in Merlin's name do you do that? I can't even floo myself anywhere without landing on my arse! But you just... And I'm... And you... And'd I'm fat! I hate you! Put my down you prick!" Harry squirmed, kicking his legs in a childish manner.

Severus rolled his eyes and walked to their room, setting Harry down on the bed, "The only reason you're fat is because you're about to have a squirming, annoying little child. Now shut up so I can fuck you."

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_**Max:** O.o Wow... Random. Anyway! I hope this makes the icky bad story go bye bye! . Lovies!_

_Mr. Max_


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